Today we’re talking about things I wish I knew before I had kids, plus the lies I told myself. Like I’ll NEVER do That When I Have Kids.
This blog post and podcast episode is a little off-topic, but it’s something I want to chat about. There is nutrition involved, so it fits but most of all I want you to know to hear these and know you’re not alone.
I also want you to know that you shouldn’t have any guilt for something that gets you through the day!
This episode is from The Realistic Nutrition Podcast with Randa Derkson. Don’t forget to subscribe to never miss an episode (because I’m months behind in turning them into blog posts).
Read more Realistic Nutrition podcast shownotes.
I’ll NEVER Do That When I Have Kids
“I’ll never do that when I have kids.” Oh that famous line that I’m pretty sure every parent says (before they were parents of course). I wanted to share a few of these lies I told myself with the ignorance of being childless clouded my view.
Lie #1: I’ll never let my toddler on an iPad
I remember before kids, I would see little ones on iPads and phones and thinking to myself, I’ll never let that happen. MY KIDS will be playing.
The iPad, TV, and whatever tech I can get my hands on raises my children. I think I lasted maybe a year with my son before I realized that in order to get some things done and to save my own sanity, I needed to give.
Plus it’s not a bad thing. In the world we live in, it’s good to have our children learn how to navigate technology, it’s only going to help them. Plus there is a ton of educational content for kids out there!
Lie #2: Breast is best
I put so much pressure on myself to breastfeed. I personally had problems with my milk supply (probably because I was only eating 1200 calories a day, but that’s a WHOLE different blog post) and I put myself through the wringer.
Instead of admitting defeat and supplementing with formula right away, I lived basically being attached to a breast pump all the time. I gave up sleep and ultimately my sanity because of the pressure I put on myself.
It wasn’t until I started to supplement (because my baby needed to eat) that I realized that fed is best and my mental health matters.
When I had my second child, I still struggled with the mindset of supplementing because I’m headstrong and determined but it didn’t take me near as long to get with the program my body was requesting.
Lie #3: Strict bedtimes
I always said when I had kids, bedtimes will be bedtimes.
Excuse me, I just choked while laughing.
My son, yes. He went to bed and was great.
My daughter on the other hand, does whatever she wants. I can try to put her to bed but it doesn’t mean she will sleep. I found myself just giving up and doing things I said I would never do (like letting her stay up and watch TV with me, just so I can have 30 minutes without drama from her.
Lie #4: I’m going to be a fun mom
I always imagined myself as the mom who baked, had activities for her kids, and did a ton of crafts.
I’m far from any of that, and I’ll be honest, it really bothers me.
I feel like I’m taking away from my kids childhood. It’s clear to me that I’m too hard on myself but I set these crazy expectations for myself for years before I had children.
I never knew that was going to be an entrepreneur, working from home while trying to raise children. I’m slowly learning to give myself grace.
Lie #5: My kid will NEVER have junk food.
I pictured motherhood as this easy job that as long as I set an example, the kids would follow.
I put myself through hell with my son. Only offering healthy options, not allowing sugar or treats because of my own disordered eating (again, that’s a whole different podcast). I set the tone for “bad foods” instead of introducing him to all foods and showing him that no foods are truly bad but we can have treats from time to time. I wouldn’t even let him sip juice, ever.
Fast forward to the second child, we go for family walks with ice cream cones but she will also choose fruit over sugar from time to time because nothing is forbidden.
Like #6: My kid will eat what I give him/her at the table. I will never make multiple meals.
I always said that when I had kids, I would serve dinner and if they didn’t eat it – then tough love.
Yeah…I tried that. Then my son would be hungry at bedtime and ask for a PB&J and I would panic because he was starving.
Or I was worried when he was little that he wasn’t eating at all during the day so I would give him whatever he would eat (at the time it was smoothies and blueberries – he was the fussiest kid ever).
Remember what I said earlier? Fed is best.
Now with my daughter, if I offer her new food I will pair it with something she likes. That way if she even tries the. new food, it’s a win.
It takes the pressure off of everyone.
Here are some tips I have for sneaky veggies and doing whatever we can to build healthy habits in kids:
- 7 Healthy Habits to Teach Your Kids
- 55 Smoothie Recipes with Vegetables
- Picky Eater? Sneak Veggies in Using These Tips
My goal for this post is to show you that we all say things and just because we go back on our convoluted view, doesn’t mean we’re failures as parents.
Health is about evolving! Life is about having fun.
So tell me, what do you say I’ll NEVER Do That When I Have Kids to?